Like a nightclub in the morning,
you're the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house,
you're clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow's
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain.
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain.
You're certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour,
here ... wear this polythene bag.
You're like a dose of scabies,
I've got you under my skin.
You make my life a fairy tale
... ... ... Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I'd consider killing you,
if I thought you were alive.
You've got this slippery quality,
makes me think of phlegm.
And a dual personality,
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath vamps disease, destruction and decay
Please, please, please, please take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you're no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptives face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race?
You went to a progressive psychiatrist,
he recommended suicide
Before scratching your name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
You hear laughter breaking through,
it makes you want to fart.
You're heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.
Your dirty name gets passed around
when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just makes me want to piss
What kind of creature bore you?
Was it some kind of bat?
They cant think of a good word for you
But I can ...
Twat.
JCC - the bard
Went to see him last May with Frank Sidebottom as support - it was the funniest thing I have ever seen I had tears of laughter streaming down my face. The saddest thing was that 'Frank' died a few weeks later. Am seeing JCC again in the Autumn - tickets are already in my sticky little fingers.
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