Throughout my life I have been surrounded by lairs. I'm guessing we all have. Ranging from the evil lies told to me by my paternal grandmother to make me get involved with things she wanted me to do ... through to white lies told by my best friend when she is hiding what she has bought me for my birthday.
However recently I have discovered a lie my father told me. He said he could always read my face and that I should never play poker as my face would give away my hand. I have always believed, therefore, that any emotion inside was always easily read by anyone else. Two ocassions recently have shown that no matter what was going on inside no-one could tell from my actions or the look on my face how I was really feeling or what I knew.
One of the ocassions saw me performing in a business-like way in front of an audience even though I was nervous and scared by a threat that was present in the room. I have also appeared puzzelled but interested, hiding the fact I knew everything about the topic being discussed. However I didn't want to give the spreader of the gossip the satisfaction of continuing to belittle someone dear to me. To an outside observer, listening to the conversation, they said they could not tell I had any knowledge of the subject by my face or demeanor.
Have I become better at hiding my feelings? Have I become an actress? Am I now just a liar myself? Or have I always kept my feelings hidden and my Dad just told me the lie to undermine my confidence and to ensure I never lied to him. We shall never know.
I have recently discovered that a friend has, once again, lied to me and worse, lied about me. This saddens me greatly, one because I have lost a good friend, but two that he continues to lie and ultimately it will cause hurt and upset to the people in his future that love and trust him.
We all have to tell lies at times but really as we get older what is the point? It's time to be happy, have some fun and enjoy life.
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